American Dust

A random blog that features things like soccer, politics, personal financial advise, and sometimes comics.

witches

Posted by americandust on January 26, 2010

Email709 views | Witches A witch is someone who pretends they can impact the world through spells, symbolic magic, or potions. In reality they only impact their own social standing.

What Pop Culture Wants Us to Think Modern Witches Look Like

What Modern Witches Really Look Like
Just The Facts
1.Witches are people who try to change the world with magic or other made up mumbojumbo.
2.Some witches are labled good (white) or black (bad) witches. This is racist of course.
3.Modern witches have codified their practices into a religion called Wicca. It started in 1921 but claims to be ancient.
Cracked on Witches
In the Middle Ages loads of people were accused of being witches. The main reasons for the accusations were that the victim was 1) powerless 2) a burden on the community 3) prone to pissing off other people 4) ugly.

If you were accused of being a witch you were going to be tortured then either killed or force to leave your homeland. The whole thing kind of blown over when people were no longer retardedly interested in superstition. Most famously an English judge ruled in a case where a woman was accused of flying over the village. The judge (the first non-retarded judge in England, possibly the last) ruled she was innocent as there was no law banning flying in the village. Sometimes if people can’t be reasoned with you have to stoop to their level to get through to them. We call this the “internet arguement” principal.

Nowadays people pretend their witches in an attempt to make themselves seem interesting. Also if witchcraft was real we’re pretty sure there would be a LOT more hot witches out there. As is, it is only every now and then you will find that diamond in the rough that is actually a very, very hot witch (or goth or wicca or whatever they want to be called).

Only she could convert us to witchcraft.

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3 Responses to “witches”

  1. pastelmoon said

    I don’t think you understand witchcraft at all so you really shouldn’t be commenting about it.

  2. Haha… that was a comedy writing I did for an online comedy magazine. If you want to really understand the history of it you should read my post on Wicca.

    By the way, I have a Masters in History specializing in European Social History of Witchcraft. What’s your credentials on the subject?

  3. pastelmoon said

    Of course you do. Everyone online has a Master’s or Phd in theoretical bullshit. Nothing in your post suggest it was for “comedy”.

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