Glenn Beck did not Rape and murder a girl

I know the headline is funny to see written. But if you’ve been on the net today you’ve probably seen this http://glennbeckrapedandmurderedayounggirlin1990.com/

Now first, it’s clever I’ll give them that. I’m going to play along in my next post.

New Idiot to Laugh At… Alan Collinge (A repost)

  So due to a recent discussion on something political, I was informed about a Political Action Committee (you know, the evil special interest we’re always hearing about) called “student loan justice.”  So I researched it’s founder, Alan Collinge.  I read his story online somewhere and basically, well, Mr. Collinge, you’re an idiot.

Collinge borrowed $38,000 for school at USC (the first warning sign is that he went to USC).  Anyway, he gets out of college and immediately falls for the old “consolidate your debt” thinking this will improve his student loan debt situation.  Hello… paying back smaller amounts over longer times will only cost you more in the long run (slight exception where the loan’s interest rate is drastically smaller– IF they don’t charge an arm and a leg for the consolidation).  So he’s already cost himself significantly more in interest payments.  Next, the genius goes on to say he didn’t understand Sallie Mae was in this business to make money!  I guess he thought it was ran by the government to help people… so basically it’s his fault again for not knowing something a quick google or turning on his radio to any of the financial programs would have solved.  But his story continues…  He misses a payment one month and doesn’t really worry about what kind of punishment he would have (didn’t he read the contract he signed?  Nope… I’m sure he didnt’).  Then it takes 6 months (six!) of bills before he notices he’s being charge a late fee for that month!  Six times a bill comes in higher then usual and he doesn’t notice (okay, we can add truthfulness to the list of things Mr. Collinge isn’t so good with).  Then he tells us he left his then current job to find a higher paying job.  He left his job just assuming he’d get hired somewhere else and make more money?  Once again, I’m not sure we’re getting the truth… maybe he was fired.  I hope he was fired, because if you’re dumb enough to leave you job just thinking you’ll find a better paying one without having a new job lined up, well, I hope you’re not doing any work that involves reasoning.  He then bounces around from state to state… once again you have to wonder how his finances took that.  He claims he applied for a deferment and didn’t get it (most people do not so he had to know that was a longshot).  So of course all this time the back-interest, fees, and any other missed payments are adding up…. quick.  All according to the contract he never bother reading.  Then he can’t understand why the company won’t release him from the extra debt he negligently took on while trying to weasel out of his commitment.  Better yet, he then tries to enter the world of defence contractor businesses, but isn’t aware that he’ll get nowhere (just like military clearance, if you’re in huge debt you are considered a threat to be easily bribed and thus a risk they will not take).   Then of course he tries to turn to the classic escape plan of those foolish or evil with their money… bankruptcy.  The plan B (actually, who are we kidding, plan A) of deadbeats.  “Why can’t I get what I want and screw everyone else out of what they’re entitled to?”  This is where it gets good… he apparently didn’t know that you can’t lose student loan debt through Bankruptcy!!!  Then he blames that fact on Sallie Mae’s lobbying efforts.  It’s been like that for a long time, if you didn’t know.  It’s that way for a reason, if they let you default and get away with sticking it to the loaner, then everyone would do that and there would be no student loans at all.  Then of course, rather than face up to his own horrible and dishonest (yes, it is dishonest to try to weasel out of a contract or escape fulfillment of your financial duties) efforts, he blames the system, starts a PAC and tries to blame it all on the high salaries of the executives that run the program he tried to screw.  Seriously… you’re an idiot. Or worse, you’re a con-man.  The difference between you and a thief who breaks in at night to steal is that the thief doesn’t try to get others to feel sorry for him.

Update: After reading the original post Mr. Collinge proceeded to leave some nasty comments on my page.  Another reader launched a blog called studentloanjusticeexposed.org and got some traffic and some death threats from those loyal to Alan. I got bored and finally quit responding to pro-Alan people, the other person’s blog got taken down.  I got a post from someone with the same name as me that lived in a state I once lived in claiming Alan called her up and left some sort of cryptic/threatening message.  I obviously can’t vouch for that comment as it didn’t happen to me.  Surely Alan wouldn’t go that far, but if he did then wow… and if he didn’t (which is most likely the case) then it shows how weird this whole thing turned out. Oh, and a sociologist from a major midwestern University is writing the whole thing up in a book about weird online actions from otherwise normal people! All from one little post.  Such is the internet.

The Post that keeps on giving…Traffic

So here we are a year or more after my first post about Allan Collinge, and wouldn’t you know it, that thing still gets major traffic. (Over 6,000 hits for a page I never cared enough to update but a few times a year is bigtime traffic).  So for old times sake, i’m reposting it.  Also, I’m going to have to go in and delete a lot of comments that became rather threatening to each other and involved cussing and posting of people info so others will harass them.  But I’ll leave ol’ buddy Allan’s comments where he cussed me out because I disagree with him. He’s a super American, huh?  And here I thought liberal Democrats like him were supposed to love everyone.  The next post on this page will be a simple reprint of the original to get it to the top of the page.

If Baseball had Relegation.

In all other sports leagues around the world, the leagues punish their worst franchises by relegating them at the end of the season (dropping them to the league immediately below them). The relegated team is replaced by the promoted team(s) from the league below them. If only American sports leagues did this. Think of the benifits, the least of which is that there are actual meaningful games for the teams at the bottom of the league at the end of the season. Finish too low and you’re out. This means no LA Clipper’s style of paying your players nothing, winning nothing, but still bringing in the crowds and making cash because fans want to see the away team’s players. Do that one year and you’re probably going to be playing in the second tier soon.
So what I’ve done and went back and pretended that Major League Baseball had put in a promotion/relegation system in place following the 2006 MLB Season. The way it would have worked is that the worst AL team and the worst NL team were relegated and replaced by the two teams that playerd in the AAA world series or championship. The champion AAA team got to go to the MLB League that did NOT win the World Series. I even tried to put the teams into places that would make geographic sense whenever possible. Most times the newly promoted team took a spot in the division (East, Central, West) where the team was relegated from, but not always (The AL West has fewer teams then the other two divisions currently so I could place a new team there).
Now, this is not perfect. I have no way of knowing whether a newly promoted AAA team (which could add MLB players through free agency or trades, or players on the relegated team that want to stay in the Majors) could be better then the worst team in MLB that next season. It’s more fun to pretend that no team that was promoted would be relegated the next season and that no team relegated would be promoted back into the league after winning the AAA the next year. In all honestly, in leagues throughout the world there ARE teams that yo-you back and forth between the leagues, but we will pretend theree wouldn’t be in baseball for some reason.
So, what would Baseball be like today if we had put relegation/promotion into place in 2006?

I give you your MLB divisions
AL East
Boston
New York
Toronto
Richmond Braves
Scranton/Wilkes Barre Pennsylvania Yankees

AL Central
Chic W.Sox
Minnesota
Cleveland
Detroit
Kansas City

AL West
LA Angels of Anehiem
Texas
Oakland
Tucson Arizona Sidewinders

NL East
Philly
Ny Mets
Florida
Atlanta
Oklahoma Redhawks

NL Central
Milwaukee
Houstan
St. Louis
Cincy
Toledo MudHens

NL West
LA Dodgers
Arizona Diamondbacks
Colorado
San Francisco
San Diego
Sacramento Rivercats.

Teams relegated
2006 Tampa Bay and Chicago Cubs!
2007 Baltimore (which lost a tiebreaker to Kansas City) and Pittsburg
2008 Seattle Mariners and Washington Nationals

Interesting notes, Since Tampa Bay was relegated in they weren’t around to win the AL in 2008 so the Red Sox would have probably made it back to the World Series (and Fox would have rejoiced at the better ratings).
Notice that there are now two teams called Yankees and two Braves in the league.
Wouldn’t baseball fans in general be happy to see perinial suck-teams like the Pirates and Nationals replaced? But wouldn’t it be a major disaster for everyone if the Cubs were relegated? Imagine sports writers field day with that one (if you want to compare it to something, check out English writer’s response when Newcastle United got relegated last year in English Soccer).
Wouldn’t a Sacramento-LA rivalry be nice for baseball like it is in the NBA? What about Arizona Diamondbacks versus Tucson Sidewinders? Cleveland versus Toledo in interleague play would be fun, as would Cincy versus Toledo in the division.While Pennsylvania would have lost the Pittsburg Pirates their fans could turn to the Scranton team.

If only American leagues had relegation you’d have a reason to cheer on your local minor league teams (Louisville Bats, Nashville Sounds, etc) as they could one day be in the majors and hosting the big boys (it’d be nice to only drive two hours to root against the Yankees, wouldn’t it?). Don’t forget, then teams in the third division would be coming into the second division, heck maybe one day they’d get to the majors.

Spending money like crazy…

Celebrity-turned-President Barrack Obama just spent more money to lower the interest rates (slightly) for people who were dumb enough to get a mortguage they could never pay back then we spent on World War One. Twice as much money in fact.
And 40% of those it is trying to help would still not be able to afford their house if their interest rate was 2%… so how much you think this will help? And how much is it a token attempt to look like he cares?

Hero Update: Jose Torres

So I told you about Jose F. Torres, the Mexican-American soccer player who plays professionally in Mexico but decided to represent the US nationally.  Well tonight’s the big US-Mexico game and JFT will be wearing the USA colors.  If you don’t know, in international soccer you can only ever play for one country, so if you’re from a mixed heritage like JFT that means making a big decision.  JFT plays for one of the poudest and most successful Mexican teams, so chosing to represent Mexico’s biggest rival is a big deal.  Basically, it took balls to do this.  He may well be hated by his home fans.  I would make a comparison with some other sport but honestly, there just isn’t another sport where this matters this much.  Perhaps, I could point out that weak-ass steroid user A-Rod was such a big pansy and didn’t want to offend Yankee fans (or his corperate sponsors/owners) that he didn’t represent his native nation (which he claimed to love but then again he claimed not to use steroids or sleep with Madonna also so who knows?) and instead represented the US in the World Baseball Classic.  Of course unlike the WBC, people actually care about international soccer so that’s a lame comparison.

In the end, JFT is one courageous guy.  A guy willing to risk his career to represent his country.

StudentLoanJusticeExposed closed?

 Damn, looks like two of my favorite webpages are gone!  First I find out t-shirt hell is going out of business and now I’m getting posts that studentloanjusticeexposed.com is gone. 

 For all of you writing/posting/emailing me about that page, I don’t know anything about why it’s gone.  I only know the creator from that page from her posts on here about a year ago.  She used to post under the name Gradgirl here (or was there a number behind “gradgirl”?) and we exchanged emails maybe twice after she created the page and asked me if she could reprint what I wrote on it… which of course I did.

If I had to guess, I’d say she basically got tired of the concept.  See, Alan hasn’t really put anything new out there so once you’ve responded to his general mindset it’s pretty much over.  I know the student loan justice types were threatening her with slander and libel charges (only one of which could possibly apply to the written word–I’ll let you figure that out), but as I told her, Alan’s fair game as he is a public figure (by his own making of course but that doesn’t matter). So I doubt she got sued or anything. It’s a free country (still, barely) so Alan can say what he wants and raise money as the special interest group he fronts to try to change policy just as gradgirl and I are free to belittle his ideas.  I wouldn’t want it any other way.  At least Alan took the time to organize something to spread his ideas and gradgirl took the time to point out the errors in his beliefs.  I’m not as impressed with the people who made comments like “you suck and I bet you’re rich and/or you work for the student loan companies” but at least they shared their opinion. In the end,  I bet she (gradgirl/studentloanjusticeexposed.org) just felt she had said all it really takes to respond to Alan and his work.  And really, once the arguement has been had it’s probably best to just let it be done.  Now don’t get me wrong, if I see Alan with some new ideas I disagree with I’ll respond, but for now it’s all been said.  We argue, you decide.

T-shirt Hell Going out of business…

T-shirt hell.com is going out of business. This is a shame. However, a disgruntled soon to be former employee wrote the following which is classic. I love how he roasts the liberal-elitist feel-good crowd who think Jon Stewart and Stephan Colbert are somehow funny and godlike:

(In response to a select group of assholes and their self righteous reaction to us going out of business)

I would like to say something to all the idiots who think we’ve poisoned society. And I’m not talking about the religious nuts or the militant [whining minority here]. I’m talking about this new wave of douches comprised primarily of twenty- and thirty- something white people who feel like they have to defend the little guy, despite the fact that in 2009 the little guy no longer exists, and if he does he isn’t even aware there’s a fight going on.

The obvious response to these people would be to say they have no sense of humor, basically because it’s the truth. But too many people think sense of humor means what you do and don’t laugh at. If you look up the definition that may be what it is. But to me sense of humor means you don’t take things so seriously. It doesn’t mean you laugh at what’s funny and don’t laugh at what isn’t. It means you don’t get pissed about what is clearly a joke.

All these damn hip people pretend to love satire as long as said satire is in agreement with views they already hold. “Yay! They’re subtly pointing out problems with government and corporations. That is brilliant satire.” But if someone delivers a bit of satire that attacks instead of defends their beliefs, well that’s just pandering and juvenile.

If I write something pointing out the positives of corporations, (and they do have a LOT of positives) it would be dismissed immediately as the work of an immature douchebag. It wouldn’t matter how logical and well-presented it was. Because it doesn’t agree with their already held belief of “corporations bad” it would just be wrong.

It’s all well and good to laugh at Stephen Colbert because he winks at the camera. “You see, it’s okay that he made a racist joke because he gave me a sly smirk and let me know he was kidding.” I like him and appreciate his work, but I say fuck that.

I will look you in the eye and use “Nigger” as a punchline because anyone with a goddamn brain should know I’m kidding. I’m not going to be a pussy and end every sentence with “j/k” or allude to the fact that I’m the asshole in a scenario just because modern comedy has been neutered. I have no desire to cater to the techno-savvy, utterly useless generation currently drowning in irony.

“Irony” has come to define comedy for this group of cubicle-dwelling slackers who think the only valid form of comedy must be slathered in snarkiness and must point out that rich white people are assholes. Powerful insight, hipster. You’re so goddamn busy being original you failed to notice you’re about the least original thing left on the planet.

I’m also not going to censor myself just because a lot of people in this world are ignorant assholes who miss the point. There’s no shortage of racists and/or wife-beaters in the world. You really think some retarded gag I thought of in a pot-fueled stupor is “empowering” these dicks? Rick from Meineke was going to hit Sheila tonight because he’s a miserable sack of shit, not because we make a reference to a fat bitch on some strands of cotton. He’s not going to look at T-Shirt Hell and go “The shirt makes a good point. Here comes the thunder, Sheila!”

A joke, on a shirt or otherwise, has never hurt anyone. You can call that an old argument and you’d be right, but the only reason that argument has gotten old is because you emotionally coddled cunts keep presenting it. The rest of us are content to just laugh at shit and keep to ourselves.

In fact, if a joke has ever gotten anyone hurt, it would be the person delivering the joke. As in, the guy wearing one of these “abhorrent” shirts might possibly get his ass kicked as a result. If that’s the case, the guy you call the narrow-minded piece of trash is the one having harm inflicted upon him, and probably at the hands of the guy you felt needed defending in the first place.

I suppose it doesn’t really matter what I say, because the people I’m talking about here will not give my side of the argument any regard. Kind of ironic, considering many of them present themselves as pillars of open-mindedness. They can use illogical thinking to make any argument they want. In this instance they chose to complain about T-shirts, but they could just as easily have written to General Mills and complained that the goddamn Cocoa Puffs bird reinforces stereotypes.

I’m talking about the kind of people who will no doubt find contradictions in this very article, because they don’t listen to people they disagree with so they can learn from or hear the other side. They only listen to people they disagree with waiting for an opportunity to prove them wrong. The same kind of people who watch FOX News ironically.

I hate Bill O’Reilly as much as anyone who doesn’t eat paste, but if and when I watch his show (when my remote and legs are broken) I will attempt to get his point of view. I’m not going to watch it just so I can roll my eyes and feel smarter than a windbag with millions of dollars. “O’Reilly is such a tool. I’m gonna go listen to the Decemberists now.”

These dicks call us racist, sexist and homophobic at the drop of a hat, all in an effort to convince themselves and others they are enlightened, but the truth is that they are, at best, oversensitive, or, at worst, insincere tools who just want to make others feel bad for enjoying something.

To me at least, racism, sexism and all the other -isms are defined by actions, not by thoughts or jokes. If I put some joke on a shirt about hunting Jews with a crossbow, it’s not the new Holocaust. It’s a fucking joke. Maybe it’s funny and maybe it’s not, but beyond that it’s nothing.

You think there are one million potential Nazis out there just waiting for one retarded pun to pull the whole thing together? “We have so much hate for Jews, but we’re so disorganized. If we only had one funny shirt to get us really organiz- Well well well… What’s this? A rabbi getting shoved in a meat grinder on a T-shirt? Let’s go get ‘em, boys!”

Forgive the analogy, but the twats who label you as uneducated or misogynistic because you had the audacity to chuckle at a retarded joke are basically the adult version of the emo kid who tries to make well-adjusted kids feel inferior because they play football instead of brooding. Fortunately emos and fags who complain about shirts have the internet to convene and strengthen each other’s douchiness.

Aside from the people who deride us as a cancer on society, there are also the people who simply refer to us as immature and lowest common denominator. To those people I would just like to say: No fucking shit. You call what we do juvenile? The company that makes shirts about midgets and shaving your balls is childish? As long as you’re tossing out these keen observations, why don’t you point out that Fat Albert is fat and black and Albert? Hey, there’s two guys 69ing each other with vibrators shoved in their asses. Could you tell me if they’re gay? I just can’t fucking tell.

Anyone who complains about any business is just deluding themselves that they’re affecting or influencing a company’s product or business practices. You’re pathetic. You’re not an agent of change. You’re just another prick wasting your life, only you don’t even have the good sense to do it with drugs, alcohol and anonymous sex. You choose to do it with your cuntish whining and morally superior brow beating.

You people are nothing more than your very own grandparents complaining about Elvis Presley’s shaking hips. He was supposed to end society, but society went on. Then came your parents, and David Bowie and Martin Scorsese were supposed to ruin society. Society went on. Well now it’s your turn, and what are you people complaining about? Cartoons and T-shirts.

You convince yourselves the type of entertainment we provide can undo social progress because you want to believe entertainment can provide social progress. The truth is it can’t do either. Minorities gained rights because a bunch of politicians passed laws, not because Bob Dylan wrote some pretty songs.

But this is all just a lot of bluster once you realize I’m talking about fucking entertainment. You can take all the references to social commentary, satire and irony and shove them up your ass. This is all just something to be either enjoyed or glanced at and forgotten. We’re not making the world a worse place and Jon Stewart isn’t making the world a better place. We’re all just a bunch of people saying stuff and either you like it or you don’t.

Feel free to say we suck, but you don’t need to quote civil rights leaders and hypothesize for ten paragraphs to justify your opinion of some fucking shirts. Just say “Fucking lame” and move on. When you go on a 500-word diatribe about the social relevance of our shirts you are doing two things.

1) Placing way too much importance on a bunch of shirts that, despite the handful of shirts people single out as “over the line,” are essentially a lot of jokes about fucking and drinking.

And 2) You are discussing the importance of that shirt, thus validating the existence of that shirt as a source of social debate, indirectly giving merit to us keeping that shirt on the site.

So, again, to all you douches who want to do away with everything “poisoning” society, your best bet is to greet it with indifference. When you conjure up this phony passion in defense of the beleaguered and put upon, over a bunch of JOKES, you’re just being the douche the rest of us enjoy laughing at.

Oh, you can tell yourself you’re different than the crazy religious lady or the angry black lady because you’re more educated or intellectual, but just like them, you are complaining about a bunch of shirts. But at least those aforementioned crazy people are sincere. You people, on the other hand, are so insincere you don’t even qualify as the twats you strive to be.

But despite all of your faults, I’m glad you people are out there complaining. Because long after I’ve killed the creative part of my brain with drugs and alcohol and we stop producing funny shirts, at least our fans will always have you people to laugh at. Tirade over. Go eat a rotting snatch.

Dems faked “Kill Him” story with Media’s Help

  It’s official, the “kill him” chants at a Palin rally were lies.  http://www.timesleader.com/news/breakingnews/Secret_Service_says_Kill_him_allegation_unfounded_.html

Here’s the story, some columnist claimed that a man in the crowd yelled “kill him” about Obama at a Palin rally last Tuesday.  Media sources reported this Wednesday but there was no audio of it (despite the whole rally being videotaped).  That didn’t stop the press from running with the story.   But last Thursday some internet and Republican sources started questioning the truthfullness of this account.  So what happened?  By Friday a man at a McCain rally yelled “kill him” and “terrorist” after a line about Obama and Ayers…

The Dems had a plant in the crowd so they could get the audio they wanted… then they ran wild with it, and had hack politicians and pundits claim that McCain and Palin were stoking racism someone by pointing out that Obama was friends with a terrorist and they didn’t even mention the terrorist was white–

Two major points…

ONE: The Dems took the fake story and made it real to score points.

Two: Notice how the Dems are so used to claiming any link to a bad person is racism (see the connection between Obama and his advisor/money launderer Harold Raines who ran Fannie Mae into the ground with the help of the Congressional Black Caucus) that they didnt’ even bother to change their story when it involved a white terrorist!!!

New Hero: Jose Torres

American born soccer player Jose Torres has announced he will honor his birthcountry by playing international soccer for the United States.  Torres’ father is from Mexico, and Torres has played professionally in Mexico for years.  He was able to play for either nation, and he decided to go with the USA.  As opposed to players like Rossi who spurned their homeland to play for their father’s homeland… Torres has reminded us that while America is a nation of immigrants, it is a nation worth representing with your life.

Thank you Mr. Torres.  Unlike most on the national team, you had a tough choice to make… and it shows a strong character to make such a tough choice. You are my new favorite national team player.

For more, read this…

http://voices.washingtonpost.com/soccerinsider/2008/10/breaking_news_torres_commits_t.html